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I think emotionally I’m doing ok. I don’t understand it all, but I’ve always been ok with knowing that “His ways are higher than our ways.” He meant for things of our life to be outside of our understanding, I get that.

I see Him working so that is comforting. He uses events both joyfilled and sorrowful to draw us in to Him, and I feel that. That’s what I have to hold onto. I haven’t felt the need for an explanation further, and I don’t feel grief – it’s weird. I feel peace and understanding.

The big however, I have yet to go outside! I haven’t encountered friends who are oblivious, or happy pregnant people, or babies – those things have the potential to activate the ugly cry. I’ll let you know…

Physically, I had a weird sweat attack last night. Like buckets of sweat! The ac was set to 68, and my normally hot blooded husband had to retreat to the couch bc it was so cold in our room. I vaguely recall sweating post-partum … maybe it’s a way our body flushes the excess horemones and fluids?

It’s weird how these days post miscarriage I feel physically worse than I did post-partum with either of my babies. Maybe birthing something that was decaying rather than life? Not sure…

Still in bed. Looking forward to my Netflix binge day accompanied by the ever wonderful, Kate.

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