This past week, my girlfriend and I were discussing the topic of a clean home as she struggles through a mama’s frustrated heart towards an ever messy home. I’ve found my groove with chore day and I’d like to share with you, but before I dive in, I think its very important for you to know I have not always rocked chore day.
Chores were a huge part of my childhood, said in the plainest way possible I related to Cinderella – a lot! I had daily chores, I had weekend chores, chores were my responsibility, and chores my were punishment. Typically I was the only one carrying the burden of these labors, and all my efforts were highly scrutinized. “Chores” brought about feelings of: anger, discouragement, hopelessness, failure, earning love as well as showing love, among others. Needless to say, entering marriage with this ill perspective of doing household chores was very unfortunate.
In brief, first year of marriage we shared chores and I dictated how and when chores were done, and often my husbands efforts weren’t to my standards (sound familiar?). Eventually I laid off, phew! A good counseling nugget I learned and treasured early on was to find joy in taking care of my husband, this advice was given when I found myself continually frustrated with the constant socks, shorts, towels, dishes, and, and, and… left about the house – “what?! do I look like your maid?!”
Even though I had started practicing finding joy in keeping a clean home and picking up after my husband, I still hadn’t found a rhythm. By nature (and nurture) I like to have a clean organized beautiful space – it is my personality. If it’s not really your personality try listening to Tsh Oxenrieder‘s newest podcast, A Slob Comes Clean. Tsh had guest, Dana White on her show and she breaks down coming to grips with being a slob and how that pertains to a clean home. It was mostly foreign to me… but maybe you can relate and find yourself on some spectrum of her definition of “slob” and adapt her tricks she uses to hone in on chores.
I also am not very sentimental, add that with moving 8 times in our 11 year marriage I’ve become pretty good at parting with things. With our most recent move into our (second) first home I’ve adopted a minimalist mindset (that can be another post). I’m pretty cut throat at what is kept in my home, more stuff – means more to clean, and when you find yourself cleaning things you don’t actually like or use – ugh, toss it now! Here’s a post that motivated my girlfriend and I to do some purging this weekend, “How Getting Rid of My Stuff Saved My Motherhood“.
So Tsh’s book Organized Simplicity has changed my homemaking habits drastically, we speak the same language. I plan to post about scheduling, our family mission statement, and my grocery list… but today is my chore list.
- Type it up! It’s (mostly) the same things each week, why are you writing it every week?
- Pick a day. Make chore day a project, with a start and finish… so at the end of that crossed-off list you can stand and marvel at a beautiful home. (This is easy for me bc I’m a SAHM, giving up a weekend morning is not ideal.)
- Start early. 8am ladies, in my uniform of choice: pj’s, messy bun, and no deodorant or fresh breath. Eat breakfast then get cracking.
- Blast some music. Spotify’s “Have a Great Day” playlist was my jam this morning.
- Minimal distractions. I totally had time to dilly-dally, check my inst & fb, feed my kids snacks, munch on rewarding chocolate chips… but don’t get sucked into another project.
- Done by noon-ish. Make a good list, but there’s no need to spring clean your house each week. Regularly I have something from my “deep clean” section I inteded to do that I choose to save for next week.
Here is my chore list. It includes nearly every chore I’d ever do in my home. Each week I take it out and start by blacking out the things I’m not going to do. I sporadically do deep clean items, and baseboards, bedding, and tubs I’ve noted how often I’d like those to be done. Then sometimes I’ll add misc items to the bottom of the list.
Next post I want to share about my kid’s chores, nurturing their heart attitude and actually teaching them how to clean properly.